(Don't mark that for spelling please) ^
Alright, so after our last 'sharing' session in philosophy class, my mind exploded inside a little. That's how many epiphanies and conclusions I came to thanks to some of my classmates. Thanks guys. I haven't been able to put all of my thoughts into words just yet, but as soon as I do, it will be posted here.
Yesterday I asked a friend to hit me with an idea, or at least give me an emotion to write about on my philosophy blog. What he gave me was "Envy/Jealousy". He explained it, saying that he gets extremely jealous when someone he's interested in, is dating someone else. So jealous to the point where it hurts and to the point where he's trying to prevent a girl from going on a date, even if he knows he's not going to be with her.
Jealousy never struck me hard like this, and it made me wonder why do people experience the feeling at all. I, personally, consider it to be another limitation that we place on ourselves. It's like a fence that keeps you from moving forward and actually getting what it is that you want, instead of being jealous that someone else has it.
What do you think? Do you think people would generally have a better chance to become successful and qualify for what seems like an impossible concept - a perfectly satisfied, happy life, if they learned to go without envy and jealousy? I think so.
Alice.
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I agree that people would definitely have a better chance at this “impossible concept” without envy and jealousy, since these emotions are limiting and can sometimes make people do things they would not normally do. I think a lot less conflict would happen in the world if people didn't envy/weren't jealous of each other, and people would be a lot happier. However, I really don’t think that it’s possible to not feel certain emotions just because we don't want to, all we can do is learn how to handle them better.
ReplyDeleteThere are many other forms of anguish that could still prevent people from living a "perfectly satisfied, happy life." Not all anxiety is because of envy or jealousy, sometimes it is due to personal, inner conflict. It might be because you want to go back in time and cant, or you fear the future. There are many possible reasons. So while I think that people would have a better chance at it, it would still probably be the same people getting there.
ReplyDeleteWhy the same people you ask? We then must ask ourselves what causes jealousy and envy. I think jealousy is routed in insecurity. We fear the loss of a person because we think they might not want to be around us anymore, they might be bored with us. I think jealousy is the worst form of envy. The insecurity lies in our inability to hold onto this person; or better yet, our perceived inability to hold onto this person. Sometimes it is this negative perception, this low self-esteem, that might cause us to push this person away even further.
Although, what if this loved one was really being taken away. What if it’s completely clear that this person you love is not going to be hanging around with you anymore? What do you feel then? If I was positive, cheery, and seemingly oblivious to this situation, aren’t I still going to lose this person? I personally have a hard time not feeling some anxiety in situations like these. Why is that? It’s probably because I get too attached to certain people without making any concrete connections, maybe we're not even that close and I'm just deluding myself, or because my habit is to be dependent on others for happiness and losing this person equals losing this happiness.
So jealousy is personal. Some of us fall into these negative patterns of thinking, sometimes the negativity occurs before the problem, you might have founded the relationship on a negation. If so, you might doing everything right but you're standing on quicksand.
Jealousy is a built-in defense mechanism that allows us to act upon the threat of the possibility of losing a potential mate, in the interest of self preservation.
ReplyDeleteEnvy falls into the same category jealousy does. However if envy was used outside the context of relationships, etc, it could be explained to be our innate desire to improve and to gain more power, monetary or otherwise.
Very rarely, if not never, are we envious of people worse off than we are. So to feel envy is a confirmation of the inferiority of our own positions. Therefore to rid oneself of envy through any method such as practicing the way Buddhism and simply not desiring, would result in feelings of contentedness or even happiness as someone who IS at the best possible position of power would have.
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ReplyDeleteI do agree that people would generally have a better life, if they learned to go without envy and jealousy. But there are still pros and cons to it, because one might say that jealousy can lead us to very bad things but on the other hand as Mitchel mentioned that it is just anxiety, in which an individual might feel in a particular way towards a particular issue.
ReplyDeleteMy personal opinion is that, it depends on the individual and individual's personality as Alice mentioned that her friend he gets extremely jealous when he sees someone he likes dating someone else, Now here we are talking about only one individual but if we take a look around not everyone get jealous the way Alice's friend does. In my own experience, i believe that jealousy most of the times does lead us to bad things but not always, it really depends on the individual and the issue he/she is in. I say that jealousy in a relationship shouldn't exists and most of the time it does lead individuals to bad things but jealousy in a way that makes the individual to work or study hard. For example: he/she is so jealous of his/her friend getting highers grade than him/her. that's when his/her jealousy leads that individual to work hard or achieve higher grades than his/her friend. but back to the same argument that envy and jealousy totally depends on an individual and individuals personality and how much further that individual is ready to go to get or achieve something that he/she wants, it may lead to something good or may be to something bad.
Okay, this may sound silly but I think your friend is objectifying these girls because he feels he is somehow entitled to being with them. When he sees someone dating a girl he's interested in, they are hindering his "freedom" as Sartre would call it. That is now one possiblity taken away from him and he has to deal with the actuality (or reality) of it.
ReplyDeleteI think we as humans experience a spectrum of emotions, but it all comes down to how we see ourselves and how we are authentic in our lives. For example, jealousy and envy are apparent in individuals who have insecurities leading to the experience of those negativities through dissatisfaction with their own self or what they do/ do not have. Heidegger would say he/ she is distracted with others and seeing what happiness another has, but not seeing what is meaningful to him/ herself. Positive feeling, like admiration, can help someone transform what they see into something that works for them, and also strive for personal happiness. Jealousy / envy are distractions, which create inauthenticity and limit our own most possibility. Ernest Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self."
ReplyDeleteJealousy can be negative (as others have clearly stated) but it is good as a tool for understanding what we want. Perhaps Alice's friend just really wants a girlfriend, but cannot for whatever reason. Getting jealous about things we don't have can show us what we have to start working on, in order to get what we want in life.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone experiences jealousy differently. Some people experience it immensely and others hardly experience it at all.
ReplyDeleteI myself have never been aware of being jealous towards another human being or desiring to be in the place of another human being; for that fact, does that make me above other people?
No I don't think so. The ability to succeed is what people make of it, yet again. If we wish to get some where or get something, I think it's an inner desire that pushes us. For that fact, yes, I believe jealousy for some can be beneficial. It forces us to realize what we want and go for it, making us apply ourselves to a situation more intently.
Ergo, we can then assume that jealousy is in accordance to desire or drive in a human being to do something, which I do not perceive as a bad thing, necessarily. It just depends on how we decide to act out in a certain situation and whether we can objectively make our desires come to fruition.
I think to follow Aristotle's example of finding a golden mean is what everyone should try to ascertain. It would allow us to work through a situation in a neutral manner so we may be able to get the results we want but allow for the possibility of failure to still be present.
Yes, I agree that our emotions definatly put limitations on where go in life( like a fence). But I find that outlook to me very intresting, as my outlook is the opposite. ( I am not saying your idea is wrong, I just find it intresting how our ideas differ.) To me my life is shaped around my emotions. I act upon them. I would spend my whole life living in a certain way if that is what happiness ment to me.
ReplyDeleteI believe jealousy is a result of accepting another person's choices (and by 'accepting', I mean acknowledging they exist) and through acceptance you place forth your own needs. Why would you choose to understand or to consider something that was not relevant to you? Hume hoped "to make it appear that all men have ever agreed in the doctrine both of necessity and of liberty, according to any reasonable sense, which can be put on these terms; and that the whole controversy, has hitherto turned merely upon words". From what I understand, unless it would benefit you, you would not take the LIBERTY of doing such an act. Despite your friend not actually having the opportunity to go out with these girls whom he chooses to interfere with, he (most likely) thinks he has a chance with them. For one he is not selfless: humans are born greedy - it's in our human psyche. Our hunger for personal gain is far from shy. He may not consider that the couple may be enjoying themselves, but rather, he only sees himself and in his eyes, he is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteJealousy doesn’t have to be a negative emotion. It doesn’t have to be a cohort of anger or hate. All it needs is little of hope.
ReplyDeleteLooking at what others have and aim to have the same is not really jealousy. Jealousy in my opinion, is wanting what others have and also wanting them to be coveting of it.True jealousy to me is addressed at being better than an individual and wanting them to suffer for it or feel worse than you.
The desire to improve oneself is a gift for us, it is what keep us reaching, growing and trying new things. thus, people would have a better chance to become successful and to be lived a satisfied and a happy life wiothout jealouy or envy. that's what i think.
Jealousy is just a personality we all have, nothing bad but he/she must accept that the personality is there, and simply accept it. There is always a reason why that person is in a state where he/she cannot accept their lover with someone else. Forgiveness is the best way and acceptance. No one own anyone, if one can understand that then this kind of jealously won't occur
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if the world would be a better place to live but certainly, it would be much simpler place. Humans life would be basically be limited to the single purpose of surviving and very little if any time would be spend on more deeper questions and developing our intellectual. In that case, the world would be very miserable and unhappy place to live if we did not asked the question “Why?”. As John Mill explained, the highest form of pleasure is higher intellectual. In that case philosophy and “Why?” are probably the best thing that happened to this world.
ReplyDelete